Tenshi no Yubikiri
by musouka
Summary: Has there ever been a time in your life when you just couldn't say "goodbye"? When you just wanted to have some time alone? From Takeru's POV. Shounen-ai/yaoi. For Arvil-san’s contest.


The coupling should be fairly obvious about half-way through this, if not sooner. There's some bad language…and some other "stuff", but nothing of an overtly sexual nature. This is for Arvil-san's contest.   
  
  


**Tenshi no Yubikiri**

_You may dream masshiro na koi wa tsubasa ni naru_   
_Tenshi no yubikiri kanau you ni_

  
  


> The park was always "our" place. 
> 
> There was a grove of trees that we would always meet in whenever we had some spare time. I knew what the others would say about our relationship, especially my older brother, but I didn't care; and that was the wonderful feeling, a chance for both of us to be selfish for once. Oniichan has many wonderful qualities, but he tends to be rather over protective of me. 
> 
> And this was one person I never wanted to be protected from. 
> 
> He – yes, I **did** say "he", I know what everyone thinks about Hikari and me, but we're just friends, nothing more, nothing less – is the most gentle and kind person I've ever known. Except for perhaps oniichan. 
> 
> I'm here right now, tears drying on my cheeks. I watch as the sun makes patterns through the leaves onto the cool emerald grass below. I can remember laying here together, my head on his chest as we both smiled up into the blue sky at nothing in particular. Snatching a moment for ourselves. 
> 
> My crush on him started so long ago. I think the moment I first realized I loved him was when he saved me from drowning…the look in his eyes when he told me how me promised my mother that he'd protect me. 
> 
> My life was so fucked up. Pardon my language, but I'm angry. I never had something constant in my life; everything and anything could be lost in an instant for me. I took it upon myself to be the only one smiling in a sea of dark, angry faces. Oniichan was always angry, moody. I never had a chance to be that way myself. 
> 
> I had to keep on smiling. 
> 
> The perfect little angel. 
> 
> I remember when I told him all this for the first time. I was sixteen. He was the only one I could turn to. I clutched him tightly, allowing the tears to seep into his blue – the memory is so firmly entrenched in my mind, I can recall exactly what he was wearing – sweatshirt. I never wanted him to pull away. I never wanted him to let go. All I wanted at that moment was for him to kiss me, but I knew he was too much of a gentleman to ever try it. 
> 
> So I kissed him instead. 
> 
> He was so shocked. Even now I have to smile at the look on his face; he looked like a fish, his eyes bugged out and his mouth working – no words coming out. All you would have had to do was add the "glub glub" sound effects, and the picture would have been complete. 
> 
> But then – then he did something I would have NEVER expected…he kissed me back. I don't know why, perhaps it was simply because I needed –someone—ANYONE to show me in the most basic way that I was loveable…at this thought, my fingers rub along a long, razor-thin scar on my wrist. 
> 
> It has a twin on my other wrist.   
  
I feel my eyes tear up – another memory resurfacing. Gentle, light kisses upon those same scars, a gentle caress so similar to my own right now. And that angry, love-filled gaze as he made me promise to him that I would NEVER try to do _anything_ like that **ever** again. He gripped my shoulders painfully, forcing me to stare into his eyes until I broke down at the utter love in his gaze and promised. 
> 
> These scars are proof that I'm no angel. What kind of angel tries to commit suicide? 
> 
> Takaishi Takeru. 
> 
> Popular at school. Popular with the girls. Gets good grades. The list is fucking endless. 
> 
> We all wear our own masks, don't we, oniichan? Some are just more transparent than others. 
> 
> I'm glad Sora-san managed to get past your defenses. She's good for you, you know that, oniichan? She's good for all of us. She keeps us human. 
> 
> He takes me to a place far beyond human though. He gives me those wings I had always wanted. 
> 
> When I'm with him, I am an angel. 
> 
> I know Taichi-san was hurt at first – about Sora-san…but who knew that he and Koushirou-san would end up…well, that's the pot calling the kettle black, ne? I do feel sorry for Ken-kun, though. You never understood, did you, Daisuke-kun? Always the innocent one. But, Hikari seems happy with you, and you're happy with her, so I suppose I can't point fingers. 
> 
> Everybody's happy. 
> 
> The two of us bringing home groceries, walking together with the plastic bags that were nearly loaded to the limit. I recall the two of us laughing and dreaming about a time when we would be able to share an apartment together…maybe when I was in college. It would have been small at first, and I don't know what we would have done for food, considering neither of us could cook. Maybe live on cup noodles? 
> 
> Maybe we could've had one of those tiny bathtubs, you know, the ones that have room for only two people. Two people who are close. Very close. That would have been nice. We could share a futon on the floor; I know from experience you're VERY warm. I don't know if we'd get much "sleep" though. 
> 
> I don't have to let go entirely, do I? 
> 
> I can clutch this dream tightly to me, someplace when no one but you can see. It—it can wait for a few years, right? 
> 
> I can wait for a few years. 
> 
> But why do I feel like crying now—again. 
> 
> I made you promise. Just like you did me. It felt kind of silly holding my pinkie out like I used to when I was a little kid. You laughed, but I could tell you took it seriously too. You always know when to laugh and the time to take me seriously. It's one of the many things I love about you…starting with those deep, dark eyes, and ending with those sensitive, ticklish toes of yours! 
> 
> The wind whips through the trees; it looks like a storm is brewing, but I'm not going to go yet…I want to spend all the time I can here. Pouring over our memories. 
> 
> You wouldn't break a promise to me, would you? 
> 
> What a stupid question…of course not! 
> 
> Just like I know you'll understand why I couldn't—why I wasn't…Why I couldn't make myself say… 
> 
> Goodbye.   

> 
> *** 
> 
> _"Good luck, Jyou-sempai!" Sora called, hand around Yamato's waist in an unconscious gesture of affection. "I'm so happy that they offered you a chance to study at Harvard! Think of how much fun you're going to have!"___
> 
> _Jyou smiled softly at the friends that had gathered to see him off; Iori, looking like he was about to cry; Miyako, waving energetically; Taichi with his arm around Koushirou protectively; Daisuke waving almost as wildly as Miyako; Hikari looking slightly embarrassed over her boyfriend's behavior; Ken with that slight, sweet smile on his face… Before he hefted his carry-on luggage and glanced at his boarding flight.___
> 
> _"Jyou!" Yamato called. "I'm sorry that I couldn't find Takeru…I—I know you two were close."___
> 
> _Jyou thought, "You have no idea how close." Before grinning and calling back to his friend.___
> 
> _"Just tell him not to forget!"___
> 
> _Yamato looked vaguely confused. "Forget what?"___
> 
> _He couldn't be sure, but through the thickening crowd, Yamato could have sworn he heard something like "tenshi no yubikiri"._   


  
owari 

  


Ending notes: "tenshi no yubikiri" means, pretty much, "the pinky promise of an angel"   
  
  
  



End file.
